Statue Of Bud Selig To Replace Bud Selig

In a surprise move obviously aimed at cutting costs and improving operational efficiency, Major League Baseball owners today voted 29-1 to replace Commissioner Bud Selig with the 7-foot statue of Bud Selig about to be erected outside Miller Park in Milwaukee.

The only vote against the move was cast by Brewers owner Bud Selig.

“It’s a move necessitated by the economy, and should also allow us to move forward quickly on the important issues we face today,” said one owner who declined to be named. “The new commissioner will be more cost-effective, more responsive to criticism, and less likely to turn a blind eye to controversy. It will speed up the decision making process, as we will always know where he stands. It will also save about $45 a year on haircuts.”

The spokesman also pointed out that the new commissioner, being a statue, “will give only the pigeons a reason to crap all over him. That’s a big improvement right there.”


"I think he said to let it end in a tie."