I'm sitting here watching the Baltimore Ravens taking care of business against the Zombie Cleveland Browns. It's currently 21-10. It's weird after all these weeks, watching a game without concern as to who I picked to win or lose or cover whatever spread, but as I said last week, anybody who bets or even expects a lot of real, competitive football in week 18 might be in need of intervention.
And now it's 28-10. Maybe I should have made my picks; there is very little going on here that interests me. Are the Browns even playing their starters? Oh, wait, that's right--they only have one.
(I call them the Zombie Browns because of the way they came back to life in 1999 and have looked like some shambling undead creature ever since.)
A win for the Ravens wraps up the AFC North division, which would mean that I successfully picked all four division winners in the AFC. On the other hand, if Minnesota wins tomorrow night, I will have entirely whiffed on division winners in the NFC. Not good.
On the other hand, here are the results of my picks in week 17, and my totals for the season:
Last week: 11-5
Season to date: 143-108-5
A good finish to a pretty good year. That's 57% correct, and anyone who followed my advice and bet $110 to win $100 on each game would have profited $2420. Or, more importantly, had I followed my advice and bet, I would have profited $2420.
I beat the top guy at CBS Sports.com by seven games. Also, surprisingly, I made a late comeback to tie Mike Florio for the season, and finished (I think it was) 14 games ahead of his podcast partner, former NFL quarterback Chris Simms.
It's possible I'm actually pretty good at this shit.
And now it's 35-10. So it goes.
One of the announcers, whose name I can't be bothered to learn, was just saying that the Browns "really need a yards after catch guy. They need to find their own version of Deebo Samuel."
One play later, Cleveland quarterback Bailey Zappe threw another interception (he had a pick six in the first quarter). Considering Zappe is at least the fourth QB the Browns have thrown out there this year, and he's awful, methinks they have at least one greater need on this team.
As I also wrote in a prior post, I won't be picking games in the playoffs, either. I simply want to enjoy the football, without worrying about back-door covers and the like.
I do still have some stake in the results, though. While my pick for the NFC championship game, San Francisco vs. Dallas, was a wash by roughly week four, my pick for the AFC was Baltimore vs. Buffalo, is very much alive, as is my pick for the winner of the whole enchilada, Baltimore. Not bad for a rank amateur who last played organized football in 1972 for a junior high that no longer exists (last I heard) and if it's re-started (which I heard it would be) would not be allowed to use its original mascot and nickname.
The Marshfield Redskins (of Coos Bay, OR) if you're wondering, which you weren't.
No, I didn't pick the Chiefs to win this year, and, in fact, I'm not sure I picked them to cover the spread even once this season. I may have mentioned this at the beginning of the season: I have been a Chiefs fan since that day in 1968 that my family stayed home from church and I discovered NFL football. The years 1972-2017 taught me to be pessimistic about my team. I'm not sure I will ever lose that. I think (I haven't really checked to make sure) that my pessimism worked out pretty well making picks this year, but the Chiefs have certainly made a hash out of my pre-season Super Bowl picks the last five seasons.
I wrote this about my history with the Chiefs back in 2011:
My, how things have changed. I can't change, though, being too old for that shit.
So, the Ravens won. Now we see if Cincinnati can stay in the hunt. I'm a little torn here: on the one hand I don't really want to see Joe Burrow in the playoffs, for obvious reasons. On the other, it looks like his first round matchup would be against the Buffalo Bills, the one team that actually beat the Chiefs this year.
Whatever. I'm just looking to enjoy some games. I may be back here from time to time during the playoffs and offseason, but I can't promise anything. At my age, I can't even promise to be alive, conscious or sentient very far in advance.
Ciao.
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