Week 13 And My Attempt At Self-Help Advice

 A thought for this Thanksgiving:

If you're feeling down, things aren't going your way, just say to yourself: "Aw, hell. Everybody stinks. Everybody but me."

You'll feel better.

The picks:

Thursday

Lions -10.5 vs. Bears

Cowboys -3.5 vs. Giants

Dolphins +3 vs. Packers

Friday

Raiders +12 vs. Chiefs

Sunday

Chargers -1.5 vs. Falcons

Steelers +2.5 vs. Bengals

Jaguars +5 vs. Texans

Cardinals +3.5 vs. Vikings

Colts -2.5 vs. Patriots

Seahawks -2 vs. Jets

Titans +5.5 vs. Commanders

Panthers +6 vs. Buccaneers

Rams -3 vs. Saints

Bills -7 vs. 49ers

Eagles +3 vs. Ravens

Monday

Broncos -5.5 vs. Browns

Last week: 8-5

Season to date: 96-80-3

Week 12 Picks And Some Minor Venting

 Not a great week last week, but I did get back on the winning side with an 8-6 tally. And the leader over at CBS Sports.com went 5-9, allowing me to gain three games on him and pull into a tie at the top of their group of chuds making picks on every game.

Maybe I'm being unfair calling them chuds; I don't know them. Perhaps they are fine people.

But they are sportswriters by profession, so the odds are pretty good that at least some of them are brain dead fascists who began their journalism careers by shoving hatpins through their frontal lobes, eventually starting podcasts where they yell at each other angrily, as if this stuff was actually important and wasn't going to be decided on the field anyway.

But enough prologue. The picks:

Thursday

Steelers -3.5 vs. Browns

Sunday

Panthers +11 vs. Chiefs

Bears +3.5 vs. Vikings

Texans -7.5 vs. Titans

Lions -7.5 vs. Colts

Dolphins -7.5 vs. Patriots

Buccaneers -6 vs. Giants

Commanders -10.5 vs. Cowboys

Broncos -6 vs. Raiders

49ers +2 vs. Packers

Cardinals -1.5 vs. Seahawks

Eagles -3 vs. Rams

Monday

Ravens -3 vs. Chargers

Last week: 8-6

Season to date: 88-75-3

Week 11 Picks With Bonus 40-Year-Old Movie Reference

We're into the second half of the season, and I seem to be sinking down into the realm of the mediocre, with a 6-8 week.

I'm totally OK with that, though. I love the mediocre! They love me! I am their patron saint!

(Stands up, faces crowd)

I ABSOLVE YOU!!!!!!

Sorry, it's been a weird couple of weeks.

The picks:

Thursday

Eagles -4 vs. Commanders

Sunday

Bears +5.5 vs. Packers

Jaguars +14 vs. Lions

Raiders +7.5 vs. Dolphins

Patriots +4.5 vs. Rams

Saints -1 vs. Browns

Steelers +3 vs. Ravens

Vikings -6 vs. Titans

Jets -4 vs. Colts

Broncos -2.5 vs. Falcons

49ers -6.5 vs. Seahawks

Bills -2.5 vs. Chiefs

Chargers -1.5 vs. Bengals

Monday

Cowboys +7.5 vs. Texans

Last week: 6-8

Season to date: 80-69-3 

Week 10 Picks, And What Else Is There To Say?

Thursday

Ravens -6.5 vs. Bengals

Sunday

Panthers +5.5 vs. Giants

Bears -6 vs. Patriots

Bills -3.5 vs. Colts

Vikings -4.5 vs. Jaguars

Broncos +8.5 vs. Chiefs

Falcons -3.5 vs. Saints

Commanders -3 vs. Steelers

Chargers -7.5 vs. Titans

Jets +1 vs. Cardinals

Eagles -7.5 vs. Cowboys

49ers -5.5 vs. Buccaneers

Lions -3.5 vs. Texans

Monday

Rams -1 vs. Dolphins

Last week: 7-8

Season to date: 74-61-3